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Rule of Three: Knowing When to Confront Someone


By Sandy Schwan - Posted on 08 April 2010

You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory.J. Donald Walters (1926 - ), Romanian author, lecturer, composer

Expect to see a wide range of interesting behaviors during an organizational change. Some behaviors will be productive, and other behaviors won't be. What matters most is having a plan in place on how you want to handle various behaviors.

For instance, when someone shows up late to a meeting or makes a comment that makes you uncomfortable, it can be difficult to decide if it's a big enough deal to address or if you should let it go. In such situations, try using the "rule of three."

Action - The Rule of Three

  1. The first time someone does something that makes you uncomfortable, take notice of your discomfort.
  2. The second time, acknowledge that the first time was not an isolated incident and that there may be a pattern emerging.
  3. The third time, speak up. Tell the person that you've noticed something three times, and you want to discuss it with him.

This simple rule can both help you determine what's worth raising and hold you back from jumping on every single issue.

Stay tuned for more 'Rule of Three' applications when leading and managing organizational change effectively.

Adapted from Peter Bregman.

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